Lesson for mindfulness - part 24:

Chapter Four: Metta (Loving-Kindness)

Metta is not a form of attachment

Battaramulla
Siri Sudassanarama
sadaham senasuna
Ven. Dr. Mirisse Dhammika thero

Metta is not a form of attachment in that it is not selfish love for another. When one loves others out of attachment, one is ultimately aiming at satisfying oneself.

One is using others for one’s own satisfaction. This is not true metta. Metta is instead having happy thoughts for others, in a somewhat detached manner, much as a doctor may compassionately help a patient without becoming emotionally involved with the patient: this state of mind is free from self-interested thoughts or self-satisfying thoughts.

Such a doctor is full of compassion, and thoughts of safety for and happiness of the patient.

When the mind reduces is selfish attachments towards worldly things, such a mind takes the opportunity to practice equanimity: the equal response to everything, by gradually reducing, negative opinions or feelings such as dislike and conceit, as well as the attachment to a desired outcome. When one is attached to the result, what started out as metta may turn into calculated, avaricious thinking.

In practicing metta, it is not enough that one should behave in a good way. When one follows metta, his way of thinking should also change, especially regarding the welfare of others. When one’s mind becomes infused with true metta through sustained metta meditation, one thinks, perceives, feels, and of course,

acts, in the mode of metta. The following is a summery of the characteristics associated with metta:

* Non-hatred and the sharing of joy and happiness for all.

* Non-hostility and the irradiating light of sympathy and empathy.

* Wholesome speech, non-use of harsh words.

* Restraint from destructive, anti-social behavior and building harmony and friendliness.

* Avoid conceit and practice equanimity.

Loving-kindness and compassion neutralize and disperse anger, hostility, conceit and destructive thoughts towards others, making it difficult for the latter to dwell in the mind.

In other words, a mindset of metta forces out negative emotions and attitudes by actively putting into practice the correlated positive ones.

It is only when one actively practices non-hatred and equanimity towards all beings that one can outgrow the tendency to entertain negative thoughts and emotions towards those who are disliked and perceived as a threat.

However, one does not have to be fully free of negative thoughts in order to practice metta.

Metta is used as a way to gradually reduce negative thoughts because metta is a remedy for the undisciplined mind.

Let us take a look at of each the above five characteristics associated with metta.

Hatred is the desire to oppress or damage; hostility is the tendency to hurt or injure; harsh words come from the desire to make others feel pain or worry; destruction is the desire to kill or demolish; and conceit is the tendency to disparage others. Each of these tendencies is rooted in antipathy and malevolence, and provides a contrast with metta, both as a mode of conduct and

as a psychological state or attitude of mind. The substitution of a negative trait by

the opposite positive one implies a well-developed and mature approach to life:

one should overcome anger by love; cruelty by compassion; hatred by sympathetic joy; and conceit by equanimity.

When one’s whole being is well established in metta, he is able to maintain no hatred, no-hostility, no-harsh words, no-destructiveness and no-conceit.

The end result is a well-cultured personality in a world where interactions among human beings create so much disharmony, tension, fear, insecurity and stress.