From a talk given by
Ajahn Thanasanti
published in Freeing the Heart,
a collection of nuns� talks
After several days on retreat we can see
what the result of the practice is. We can observe the
effect of mindfulness, attention, a life style of
simplicity, restraint, moral integrity, and hours of
meditation with some Dhamma input each day. We can see
what our minds and our bodies are like and notice some
change from what they were like when we first arrived.
There�s a certain pattern noticeable on the retreats
I�ve been on. People come and they�re often relieved to
be here, but they�re still very much carrying the burden
and weight of the world they�ve left behind. The first
few days are a combination of frustration, pain,
confusion, tiredness, dreariness and dread, mixed with
good will, right intention and effort.
Characteristically, faces are long and drawn, and the
energy is thick and heavy, and people are doing their
best to be good Yogis. But the feeling is one of �me�,
�my� pain, �my� problem, �my� dilemmas, �my� poor
practice, and �my� painful knees. It shows in people�s
faces and is obvious in the quality of the energy in the
room. You can feel it.
After some time there�s little bit of perspective. The
quality of stillness becomes more tangible. People�s
faces begin to lighten and brighten. Then the whole
�me/my� universe begins to soften and we begin to wake
up to realise there are actually other people in the
universe.
In fact, they�re sitting right next to us. Then, as the
mind begins to become more still and more focused we
experience what is commonly known as �yogi mind�.
�Yogi Mind� is a focused and concentrated mind which,
like a magnifying glass, doesn�t only magnify the pretty
things it magnifies everything. So the pretty things and
the not so pretty things are equally magnified and
become more recognisable, more visible, more exposed.
One of the characteristics of �Yogi Mind� is the
capacity to get obsessed with the minutest detail, to
hate all of a sudden - the person sitting next to you
because of the way they�re breathing.
Or to be utterly convinced that the entire suffering of
the universe is the result of the way this one person is
walking in and out of the door. Or various forms of war
take place between those who want one particular use of
a room and people who want another use of the room.
Then, there�s the opposite - the �Vipassana romance.�
You�ve finally found the beloved you�ve been dreaming
of. They�re sitting a few seats away from you.
You�re convinced they have the same feeling about you.
It�s obvious by the way they�re doing their walking
meditation.
�Yogi Mind� focuses and concentrates emotions, feelings
and mental tendencies that are present or latent in
conscious awareness.
These things just become bigger than they normally would
be or different to how we normally experience them.
Little things take on grand proportions. Projection is
the important aspect in understanding �yogi mind�.
The intention of mental proliferation is aimed at
getting what we want or not getting what we don�t want.
The problem or the answer is seen to be outside of us.
Meditation and a retreat environment causes increased
energy. When there is an ability to use that energy to
bring awareness and attention to the nature of desire,
aversion and the way fantasies are used to bypass
problems or seek the answer outside of ourselves, then
�Yogi Mind� becomes a useful tool for learning. One uses
the process as a way to come to terms with the mind.
I remember once doing a long retreat at IMS in
Massachusetts. I had come with three different pairs of
shoes - �Rambo� - type mountain climbing-boots, a pair
of wooden clogs, and a pair of shoes that had straw
soles. As long as the weather was dry and there wasn�t
snow on the ground, I used to wear the straw soled shoes
all over the place because they would work well inside
and they would work well outside.
Then, it started raining. Then, it started snowing. It
took the straw-soled shoes three days to dry out once
they got wet. I couldn�t bear to keep putting on and
taking off my �Rambo� mountain boots with their 25
eyelets, so I would just put on the wooden clogs.
Well, the meditation centre at IMS has wooden floors.
Unbeknownst to me, most of those present were convinced
I had a sadistic urge to torture everyone; that it was
an intentional and completely sadistic thing to be doing
using these wooden clogs during the walking meditation.
A warfare of notes on the bulletin board took place.
The retreat manager, being skilful, intervened. She saw
some of these notes plastered on the bulletin board
aimed at this sadistic yogi who was determined to
torture everyone.
She removed the notes before I had a chance to see them
so that I didn�t have to deal with the effect of having
to read such things. She came to me to find out what was
going on. I explained to her the situation was that I
just had these three pairs of shoes and the wooden clogs
were the only ones I could use.
I left a little note on the bulletin board asking if
anyone had a pair of shoes I could borrow. The next time
I went down to check there were no less than ten pairs
of shoes that somehow all fitted my feet exactly and
would be quiet on the wooden floors.
For me it was an interesting learning. For one it was
illuminating to see how insensitive and lacking
mindfulness I could be to wear wooden clogs on a wooden
floor. Equally illuminating was to see what happens when
we become, intentionally or not, the object of someone
else�s aversion or desire.
Such is the way with �Yogi Mind�. Because the mind is
concentrated, it takes things and it gets very convinced
about the absolute rightness of the perception.
But often there isn�t a lot of wisdom, discrimination or
equanimity. And these qualities of discrimination and
equanimity are ones that need to be cultivated.
Whatever the experience, there need to be a reflective
awareness able to return to the heart of the matter and
see what is actually going on. It�s important not to get
caught in the appearance of things or carried by the
tide of emotion so much so that the capacity to reflect
is lost. It can be useful to ask, whatever is going on,
�Where is the suffering? What is the cause?
Is it �out there� or in my relationship with what I am
experiencing.� To ask, �Does the world really need to be
different and give me what I want in order to be content
and feel at ease?
It is important to wake up to these things and see them
as just another view, another thought, another habit of
mind that is constantly being enacted without checking
if by doing so the desired result is ever produced.
So if you have experienced such things, just rest
assured that this is an utterly normal part of
meditation and it�s nothing to be distressed about. But
it is something to open up to, to look at closely and
not to be fooled by or believe in.
When the passions of the mind are saying, �This is not
just an opinion, this is absolutely true� you have your
signal, your red flag. Anything that presents itself as
absolute truth, is a sign to look at. Check into it.
Feel the screaming mind.
Take a look at what�s going on. There�s usually
attachment, often a lot of fear. Anger or
self-righteousness can be a mask of many things
including fear.
All of this is very good to notice, to open up to, to
look at, and to have a sense of the way the mind
operates in its peaceful as well as its non-peaceful
moments.
It is important to learn about the movements of mind so
that they no longer confuse or deceive us, to let the
awareness of all experience take us to the still heart.
In that way, regardless of what we are experiencing,
pleasant or unpleasant, there is the contentment that
comes from abiding in awareness. This contentment is
worth cultivating. (Courtesy: Forest Sangha Newsletter)
පුර අටවක
පසෙලාස්වක
අව
අටවක
අමාවක